


Things Said and Unsaid

by magicianlogician12



Series: Heart of Steel [7]
Category: Fallout 4
Genre: (from an indirect missile not self-inflicted), F/F, I'm a sap for happy endings though so it's all good, mention of injuries including burns, some injury angst and sadness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-23
Updated: 2016-04-23
Packaged: 2018-06-03 22:45:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6630013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magicianlogician12/pseuds/magicianlogician12





	Things Said and Unsaid

Scribe Haylen had been aboard the Prydwen before, a few times, in fact, and while her purpose had always been important, it had never been so dire as it was right now.

She was absolutely certain, without a shadow of a doubt, that Tabi would be sent to hunt Danse down. She also knew, with absolute certainty, that Tabi fully believed in the Brotherhood’s tenets. They had been friends, true–Tabi had even once told Haylen that Danse was one of her best friends since losing Nate–but the chance couldn’t be taken. Haylen had to say something.

Passing through the corridor on the main deck at a breakneck walk, she heard the familiar tone of Tabi’s voice, speaking with Proctor Quinlan. She stepped in, and only caught the last part of what Tabi had been saying. “I understand, of course. Orders are orders.”

Haylen clenched her jaw to prevent an outburst that would give away her intentions. “Proctor, Knight, I have information concerning Danse’s whereabouts.” she forced the sentence out evenly, but knew Tabi hadn’t been fooled–her sky-blue eyes narrowed almost imperceptibly.

Proctor Quinlan glanced between them, and said, “Very well, if she has relevant information. You trust her, Knight?”

“I do.” Tabi said stiffly. “Lead the way, Scribe.”

The walk down to the lower area of the main deck was filled with tension thick enough to be cut with the knife in Tabi’s boot. The silence was filled only with the clank and hiss of Tabi’s power armor, and the deep breath she exhaled as they went down the stairs.

“‘Orders are orders’?” Haylen hissed as soon as she felt confident she and Tabi wouldn’t be overheard on the Prydwen’s bottom deck. “That’s all you have to _say_ to that? You’re just going to hunt him down after everything you two have done?”

Tabi clenched her armored fists a little tighter. “It’s not like I was going to _tell_ them I’m going to hear him out first, Haylen. I don’t want them to think I’m too soft to handle this. If they did, they’d send someone else–who may not be as willing to listen to you.”

Haylen stood agape for a moment. “I know you, Tabitha–I’ve seen the way you hunt synths down. You weren’t planning on hearing him out at all, were you?”

“I told you once that Danse was one of my best friends since entering this god-forsaken wasteland,” Tabi’s anger was making it difficult to control her tone, but the bite was still there, “I believe in the Brotherhood, but I’m not going to blindly follow their orders like a goddamned drone when one of my friends’ lives is on the line. If you don’t believe that, I suppose it’s your problem.” Tabi picked her helmet up and held it in both hands. “You know, Haylen, I think I once remember telling you that Danse was one of my best friends. I already watched one of my best friends die. What makes you think I could pull the trigger on another without a damned good reason?”

“The fact that you’re working against your best friend’s son, and I don’t think you’d hesitate pulling the trigger on him.” the words were out before Haylen could stop them, and she froze.

Tabi’s face was completely devoid of emotion, and she placed her helmet over her head, hands noticeably shaking, locking the seals and striding rapidly away without another word. Haylen wanted to pursue, to apologize–her words had been hasty and perhaps the worst thing she could have said–but she knew it was too late for that. Whatever Tabi decided to do about Danse, they would have a great deal to talk about when she returned.

* * *

As part of her temporary duties aboard the Prydwen, Haylen often went to the infirmary and helped patch up any incoming wounded from the Commonwealth. The facilities here were a far sight better than what she’d had to work with down in Cambridge, and thus, she saw much less death. It did wonders for the mood.

Usually, if there was an incoming wounded, someone on a vertibird would forward a basic report of the injuries sustained, so the proper tools and medicine could be prepared. Some injuries were more comprehensive, of course, and those were often dealt with by the doctor aboard the Prydwen himself. More serious cases sometimes required extra assistance. Haylen had been called twice to assist in more complex treatments in the past few weeks, which, all things considered, was not too shabby.

It had been a few hours since Tabitha departed the ship on a vertibird to the Commonwealth below. Haylen had been thinking of how to apologize from the minute the sound of Tabi’s suit had faded down the hallway. None of them seemed adequate. She tried to stop her mind from wandering to what might be happening on Tabi’s hunt–for, in their argument, Haylen had not been able to give Tabi the prime location she suspected Danse might be in–and wondered if she’d see her knight again for weeks.

The radio crackled, and a pilot’s voice spoke, “One injured, serious damage.”

Haylen tapped the response key and spoke, “Details of the injury?”

“A super-mutant ambush, from what we’ve heard,” the pilot’s voice replied, “the knight leading the charge tried to dodge a missile and didn’t fully succeed. Best prepare for severe burns and shrapnel wounds.”

Haylen closed the channel and darted up to find the doc. This one was going to be a complex case, and Haylen wasn’t equipped to deal with that herself.

After delivering her message, Haylen, the doctor, and a few senior scribes waited anxiously at the flight deck, where they could immediately take the wounded back to the infirmary. The sound of an approaching vertibird’s rotors heralded its imminent arrival, and a small crowd gathered to gawk, pushing Haylen out of the way despite her best efforts–and that was when she noticed Elder Maxson.

He was speaking to the doctor, and the look on his face was one that was difficult for Haylen to identify–she eventually settled on anxious annoyance. His presence, though, just the simple fact he was _here_ , was enough to set Haylen on edge. He would only be here if the injured was someone direly important. And the most important thing going on right now was–

Haylen froze, and then shoved her way through the crowd with increasing desperation. A few annoyed grumbles reached her ears, but Haylen ignored them, finally reaching the front of the crowd. Her knees nearly buckled and blood roared in her ears.

Tabitha Harte, imprisoned by half-melted–and in some cases, entirely warped or missing–pieces of her own power armor, lay groaning with agony atop the deck, being moved as carefully as possible by a few other knights dispatched to the task; her armor would have been too heavy for unassisted people to move. Under direction by the doctor, who’d passed by Haylen without her knowledge, the knights carefully moved her to the inside of the command deck, but she couldn’t be moved to the main deck until her armor had been removed.

Haylen watched as workers with cutting torches carefully severed the armor from its frame, and used fine lasers to break the frame away, too. Haylen hadn’t thought it possible, but Tabi somehow looked _worse_ without the armor.

It was clear she had severe burns all across her torso and hips–a few patches were blackened. Pieces of her armor had been warped or shattered by the missile impact, and the shards had produced many bleeding cuts in her pale skin. Her chest, however, was what made Haylen’s stomach roil and gave her the feeling that a rug had been yanked out from under her feet.

It was clear that Tabi’s chestplate had felt the brunt of the missile’s detonation. What remained of its warped chassis sat on the deck, nearly concave. The burns there were not as severe as those on Tabi’s torso, however, and was not what prompted Haylen’s sick feeling of dread. It was rather the shard of metal, still embedded in Tabi’s upper-right chest, that made the scribe feel like the world was crumbling around her.

She’d seen these wounds before, at the police station. She’d seen strong knights die of them, despite her best efforts. Tabitha was a survivor, it had been proven more than once, but Haylen couldn’t help but feel that her luck might have run out.

_And the last thing I said to her…I may as well have called her a cold-blooded killer._

Once Tabi’s armor had been removed from her body, she was carried up to the main deck’s infirmary. Removing the shrapnel piece from her chest–as well as the various other pieces throughout her body–was a taxing process, even for the Prydwen’s veritable army of medical assistants. Haylen wanted to assist–she wanted to save Tabi’s life more than anything in the world–but every time she tried to step closer, she caught sight of Tabi’s too-pale skin, saw the amount of blood she was losing, and had to step back, rubbing furiously at her eyes.

At last, what felt like an eternity later, the doctor swiped the sweat off his brow and declared Tabitiha’s fate was in luck’s hands now. Bitterly, Haylen wondered to herself if that even meant anything–Tabi’s ‘luck’ was what seemed to lead her into this ambush in the first place.

As the rest of the medical crew cleared out, Haylen stayed behind and waited for the room to be empty. The doctor instructed her to watch over Tabi and fetch him if her condition deteriorated. By now, Haylen knew that would likely mean a peaceful injection of painkillers to ease her passing, not more effort in saving her. Without responding, Haylen pulled a chair up to Tabi’s cot and stared at the unconscious woman’s face.

Her right cheekbone, her entire chest, and most of Tabi’s legs were swathed in bandages. Even in sleep, her face was pinched by pain, but the doctor dared not go higher on the painkiller dosage–he’d already given her slightly more than he should’ve as it was. Her skin was still too pale, and her body far too still–Haylen had to rest her hand lightly on Tabi’s chest to even feel the slight up-and-down motion of her breathing–but she was still Tabitha. Still alive, though who knew for how long?

Haylen’s throat closed and she rested her hand on Tabitha’s, slowly curling her fingers around Tabi’s longer, thinner ones. Hot tears burned her eyes, but Haylen brushed them away with her free hand and gave Tabitha’s a light squeeze. “Squeeze my hand if you can hear me.”

Haylen waited, and waited, but there was no answering squeeze, no reassuring half-smile and weary blue eyes to tell her everything would be fine. Swallowing a sob, Haylen said again, “Tabi. Squeeze my hand if you can hear me.” barely audible, she added, “Please.”

Still there was nothing, and that emptiness was what finally broke down the floodgates, tears falling faster than Haylen could swipe them away, and quiet sobs faded eventually into sleep.

* * *

Three days passed. Haylen could not remain at Tabi’s bedside all the time–her duties aboard the Prydwen could not be abandoned–but any time Haylen could spare was spent at the infirmary, asking if there was any change and her face falling in disappointment when she heard the answer.

Still, she refused to give up. Now Haylen often helped change out the dressings on Tabi’s wounds, sometimes speaking as though the wounded woman could hear her. No one commented on the quirk–everyone had seen the people they fought alongside injured at some point or another. What none of them knew was how deeply their bond ran.

Haylen still remembered when Tabi had come back from the Institute, had blurted out over a meager dinner that she loved her, and Haylen had told her the same. And she did–she really and truly did love Tabitha Harte, more than she’d ever thought possible. The notion that she could potentially be gone from the world forever was something Haylen refused to accept.

Every evening, before retiring to her bunk, Haylen would hold Tabi’s hand and ask the other woman to squeeze if she could hear her. Tonight, she decided to stay longer. Exhaustion was a constant state of being for the scribe anyway–she may as well be fatigued over something that mattered.

Holding a technical document in one hand, Haylen’s opposite one held Tabi’s. She was deeply absorbed in the document, so much so that at first, she thought the flutter of motion around her fingers was just her imagination. Haylen looked up, though, and saw that Tabi’s chest was rising and falling at a different rhythm. Her heart almost stopped when the flutter in Tabi’s fingers returned, stronger this time, and words croaked free of her chapped lips, “Squeeze my hand if you can hear me, Hay.”

“I can hear you.” Haylen said, squeezing her hand tight. “I can _hear_ you.”

“Good.” Tabi’s voice was barely audible. “Then I’m not dreaming.”

Haylen laughed, for the first time in days, and wanted to throw her arms around Tabi’s neck, fiercely joyful and feeling as though the weight of a mountain had been lifted from her shoulders. “Don’t _do_ that to me.”

“You?” Tabi joked weakly. “ _I’m_ the one who took a missile to the chest.”

Haylen shook her head to hide her widening smile. “That’s not funny.”

“Liar.” Tabi teased, and her voice was getting stronger by the second. “I can see that smile of yours.”

Haylen decided to risk carefully leaning over Tabi’s chest and wrapping her arms around her neck lightly, breathing in the familiar, warm smells of citrus and steel that was uniquely _Tabi_ , and was filled with an unquenchable relief and joy. _I love you_ was what she meant to say, but what came out instead was, in a lightly chastising tone, “Be more careful next time.”

Really, it may as well have been the same thing.


End file.
